Who am I? Who is the woman who stares back at me from the glass? I don’t always recognise her. She is tired, she looks a little thinner than I remember. She looks a little like she doesn’t know who she is.
Perhaps I don’t. This is new, still, kind of. This being a mother.
I’m no longer just me. I’m now me plus Milin plus Jasmin.
It’s not just me in the mirror anymore. It’s me plus the children who are mine.
The mirror tells our story. It tells of a woman whose life changed when Milin was born. It tells of a mother whose life changed again with Jasmin.
Yes I am tired and thinner and perhaps I haven’t brushed my hair or wiped the pureed pear from my shoulder. But yes I am more than I was. I am a mother.
That face that looks back at me now belongs to a woman who has grown up, even though I don’t always feel like a grown up.
It is the face of a woman who has learnt to love, to protect, to cherish, to nurture, and to put the lives of two babies above all else. It is the face of a woman who has learnt what is important, and that it is family, it is love, it is health, it is happiness, it is honesty, it is loyalty. It is the face of a woman who has learnt that nothing matters more than her children.
Who is that woman in the glass? She is a woman for whom life has changed. It is no longer about climbing the ladder, getting a paycheck, or winning awards. It is no longer about putting myself first, throwing caution to the wind and heading out in search of adventures without the need to look into the future.
I’m still working out who I am, now that I am a mother. The pre-mother me is still there. But everything has shifted a little, and I’m still finding my way to fit into this new woman in the glass.