Work in progress

When do we reach a stage where we really know who we are? I used to think that by the time I was somewhere in my mid-30s I would know me and I would get me. More and more though, I’m realising I was wrong. Perhaps we’re always destined to be works in progress – shifting, changing, moving, going back and forth and around depending on that day, that year, that memory.

There’s something that happens as you get to that point where it looks like you might finally have your shit together. There’s the house, the job, the children, the husband, the realisation finally that hair oil tames the frizz and life’s too short for shoes that rub. Yes, there’s all that. There’s the seeming certainty over what you’re doing and where you’re going – at least on the surface of it all. But, the more of that settled-ness and decisiveness that there is – the more introspection there is too.

And this is when you realise, you’ll always be changing, becoming, falling apart, trying to be fixed, and adapting and learning all over again. As life happens around us, as we navigate it all and look back as well as forwards, we are of course going to change what we see, how it makes us feel, what it makes us do. How we might be or respond or hope or feel might be completely different from one week to the next.

Because, after all, we’re growing, learning, changing and still finding our way. I wouldn’t want it to be different really. There’s still so much to get my head round, there’s still so much to happen and make happen. I hope life as it goes does make me do things differently next time, see things differently, teach my children differently, be differently.

This process, at the moment, hurts a bit. But I’m taking comfort in knowing that there won’t be a goal or an end point or a resolution I either succeed at reaching or fail at attaining. There’s nowhere I need to get to. It’s not just me that’s the work in progress, it’s all that’s around me too. I’m going to take my time.

5 Comments on Work in progress

  1. Plutonium Sox
    June 15, 2016 at 11:07 pm (2 years ago)

    Great post. And I agree, we never really find ourselves do we? I feel that the things that have really shaped me have been the difficult times. I know I’ll change again in the future, but the tough times have made me strong and now I can face anything.
    Nat.x

    Reply
  2. Hannah Budding Smiles
    June 17, 2016 at 10:27 am (1 year ago)

    It’s so true that we are constantly evolving. I feel really settled right now, but I know I’m still changing all the time. Great post, big hugs xx

    Reply
  3. Nell (the Pigeon Pair and Me)
    June 17, 2016 at 12:32 pm (1 year ago)

    I was trying to explain to my kids the other day that you never stop learning (I’m on a journalism course at the moment: ‘what, Mummy, even grown-ups go to school??’). For me that constant process of change and adaptation is one of the joyful things in life.

    Reply
  4. Tim
    June 18, 2016 at 2:33 pm (1 year ago)

    No matter how old we are, I think we never stop learning and evolving – at least, I hope not, as things would be very dull otherwise.

    I don’t think it was until I hit my mid-30s that I started to feel even remotely comfortable in my own skin but I suddenly hit a point where I stopped caring so much about what other people thought about me and much more about what *I* thought about me. I don’t know whether that was a maturing thing, or a becoming a parent thing or a starting blogging thing. Quite possibly a combination of all three. I do know for sure that blogging has given me an outlet to process my thoughts in a way that has been incredibly helpful to me, so it has certainly contributed.

    Reply
  5. Brunner. Marina
    June 25, 2016 at 2:25 am (1 year ago)

    Bonsoir,
    C est très joli ce que vous ècrivez 😉
    Merci
    Meilleurs Messages
    Marina Brunner

    Reply

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